Dear Sir,
AoA,
I hope that you will be fine. Sir, I want to share my personal information with you. I am fully fall in frustration. I am fully disturb in financially. I am living in lahore on rent. I am also facing some problem in office like promotion, salary etc. My juniors are growing because they are financially set and have no domestic problems, but I facing problems from office and home at the same times. I am also worrying about office loan and banks loan. So, what you suggest to that I solve my problems one by one.
Please guide me, I will be thankful to you.
A Brother
Lahore
Dear Brother
Assalam o alaikum wa Rahmatullah e wa Barakatuhu
I’m very sorry to hear about your situation. In my opinion, you should consider the following:
1. You’ll have to build courage in yourself. It is YOU who can change the situation, nobody else. Never consider that anyone else will change your situation. Build a strong sense of confidence in yourself.
2. Your situation is not unique. All successful people of the world faced similar problems. Even some of them had to face hunger. I also started my meager career with a salary of Rs. 600 in 1992 which was not a good amount even at that time. I had to face problems similar to you but with the passage of time, situation improved.
3. Getting rid of financial problems is a long process. There is no shortcut to it. Some people think that illegal means are a shortcut but they are not correct. It even takes years on illegal paths to be a successful criminal. So when the process is the same, why not to go for legitimate means so that we earn good money and respect in the society. You’ll have to accept this challenge and be prepared for a struggle.
4. There are several methods by which you can improve your situation. In order to give you a proper advise, I need some information from you. Give me as much details as possible about you, your age, qualifications, family background, experience, habits, attitude, relations with your boss and colleagues. Also provide me the analysis for success of your juniors. What are their qualifications etc. as compared to you? If it is possible for you to share your financial position and salary etc., please also share that.
Remember one thing that growth of others is a temporary matter. Today, others may be going ahead of you but tomorrow you may be going ahead of them. It is like a race. There is no need for frustration.
After receiving all the information, I will advise you to pursue a better course of action that will help you in getting rid of this situation.
Remember in your prayers,
wassalaam
Muhammad Mubashir Nazir
Dear Sir,
Wa Alaikum-us-Assalam
I have much pleased to receive your reply. Sir, my age is 39 years. I have four kids. My salary is now 20k. I have also started my carreer in 1992 with salary of 400 to printing press but Al-hamdolillah now I am working in as senior officer in a big institution. I have it in 1994 with salary of Rs. 1800. I have 18-years’ experience here. At joining my qualification was only F.Sc but two days before I have done Master in information technology. Sir, after got a vast experience, qualification, salary I have found a lot of anxiety in my personality and body. My superiors observed me that I have lack of confidence and lack of skills. So, it creates frustration in my mind. So, I am feeling dissatisfaction.
Secondly, We have joint property a three marla house. We have four brothers and two sisters. I lived with my joint property but daily when I returned from office my family and wife told that we quarreled on this matter. After 12 years I separate with them and took a house on rent. Now one my brother is not interested to sell that house, because after selling house we can’t purchase house individually. When I separate I decided that after selling I will buy house. But all these circumstances I am mentally upset.
Thirdly, my wife is cooperative with me. She demanding me house and insist me to sale house. So, I am the middle man and want to balance relations both side. I want to groom and wants higher studies but she don’t like my study interest. She says that after office all time would be serve in family.
My relations are my colleagues and superiors are good. So, give me some tips and study material that will guide me and make strong my personality. I have also discussed with Psychiatrist my story. He recommended some medicine. Is it better for me to relax my mind. Please advise me what can I do and also tell me some strategies “MAIN KAHAN SAY START KAROON KAHAN SAY KHATAM KAROON.”
Lahore
Dear Brother
Assalam o alaikum wa Rahmatullah
Under your circumstances, I’ll suggest you the following:
1. Try to convince your wife that by selling the joint property, you’ll not be able to buy the house. A 3-marla house may have a value about Rs, 3-4 million and you may get only something around 0.6-0.7 millino in which you can’t build a home.
2. You should improve your financial position. You can do it in two ways: (a) Improve your qualification and try to find a better job. (b) Try to shift abroad to earn a better income. Although both of these decisions may be difficult for you at this stage of life, but in order to get rid of your issues, you’ll need that. It will also develop a sense of love and respect among your family members as you might be sacrificing for them.
3. Your issue seems psychological not psychiatric. You may be finding some depression due to pressure from family and office. I’ll suggest you to go for hypnotherapy which is much better treatment. You can get help in improving your confidence, curbing depression etc.
4. You can read the following articles. I hope they’ll be helpful.
Personality Development Lectures
Please feel free to discuss further. It will be pleasure for me to help you.
wassalaam
Muhammad Mubashir Nazir
Walaikum Assalam wa Rahmatullah
Dear Sir,
Hope that you will be fine. I have no words to explain for supporting me. May Allah bless you. I know these things are difficult and wanted some period but not impossible. I will follow these.
One things that I want to discuss you, I am feeling tiredness, boredom in body and lack of enthusiasm. My mind every time thinks that time has passed for my self-development. I am old age and not young. So, I am not energized. So, what steps should I do for the improve my performance and energized to avoid past days where I did a lot of mistake. I want to forget my past.
see you,
Lahore
Dear Brother
Assalam o alaikum wa Rahmatullah
Energy problem may be due to lack of proper vitamins and minerals. I also faced the same issue and the doctor proposed a multi-vitamin tablet to me. It is better to consult some doctor of internal medicine. He can suggest you to have some multi-vitamin tablet. I’ll also suggest you to include more fruit and vegetables in your diet.
To get rid of the bitter experiences of past, it is better to consult some hypnotherapist.
wassalaam
Muhammad Mubashir Nazir
Don’t hesitate to share your questions and comments. They will be highly appreciated. I’ll reply as soon as possible if I know the answer. Send at mubashirnazir100@gmail.com.