بِسمِ
اللهِ
الرَّحْمَنِ
الرَّحِيمِ Allah,
in the name of, the Most Affectionate, the Eternally Merciful |
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Personality
Development Program
Contribute
to humanity by develop a God-oriented personality!!! |
تعمیر شخصیت
پروگرام
ایک
خدا پرست شخصیت
کی تعمیر کر
کے انسانیت کی
خدمت کیجیے!!! |
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اردو
اور عربی تحریروں کو بہتر
دیکھنے کے
لئے نسخ اور
نستعلیق
فانٹ یہاں سے
ڈاؤن لوڈ کیجیے
|
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Are the Muslims victims of Civilizational
Narcissism?
|
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Recently,
I have read a small Urdu book named "Tehzebi Nargasiat" which stands for "Civilizational
Narcissism". The booklet is written by Mubarak Haider
who has composed a unique idea into a small scholarly booklet. Although, the
author is known for his orientation to the Socialist Left but this book is a
marvelous masterpiece of unbiased psychoanalysis. This
article aims to add more information for the readers on the subject. We will
also draw the attention of the author and the readers to a few important
points of the above-mentioned book which need revision. What is
Narcissism? As
mentioned by the author, "Narcissism" refers to egotism,
selfishness and self-centeredness of a person. It is simply lack of
consideration of others. It is a personality disorder. The name
"narcissism" is derived from the Greek mythology. Narcissus was a
handsome Greek youth who had never seen his reflection, but because of a
prediction by an Oracle, looked in a pool of water and saw his reflection for
the first time. He felt in love of his reflection. Unable to consummate his
love, Narcissus pined away at the pool and changed into the flower that bears
his name, the narcissus. Every
person is a narcissist up to some extent but when this self-love crosses the
line of reasonableness and becomes out of proportion, he/she becomes mentally
sick. An egocentric person is infatuated and obsessed by his/her own
personality that he/she ignores everyone else. Symptoms
of Narcissism Some
symptoms of narcissism are as follows: 1.
A narcissist feels grandiose and self-important. He exaggerates
his achievements and talents to the point of lying. He also demands to be
recognized as superior without commensurate achievements. 2.
He is obsessed with fantasies of unlimited success,
fame, fearsome power or omnipotence, unequalled brilliance, bodily beauty,
sexual performance or ideal, everlasting, all-conquering love or passion. 3.
The egoist is firmly convinced that he is unique and,
being special, can only be understood by and associated with, other special
or unique, or high-status people. He requires excessive admiration, adulation,
attention and affirmation. 4.
He feels himself entitled to unreasonable or special
and favorable priority treatment. He demands automatic and full compliance
with his or her expectations. He cracks the whip to make sure that others are
at his beck and call. 5.
Narcissists are "interpersonally
exploitative". They use others to achieve their own ends. They are devoid
of empathy. They are unable or unwilling to identify with or acknowledge the
feelings and needs of others. Due to this reason, they are more interested in
speaking rather than listening. They are happy to hear their admiration only.
They may have an iron fist in a velvet glove. 6.
A self-centered person is constantly envious of others
or believes that they feel the same about him. He laughs up his sleeves on
other's weaknesses. 7.
He is as arrogant
as a peacock. He expresses haughty behaviors or attitudes coupled with rage
when frustrated, contradicted, or confronted. (Point No. 1 to 7 are adapted
from: www.healtyplace.com) 8.
Criticizing him is like a red flag to a bull. He hits
back like a bear with sorehead and foams at the mouth. If he is unable to vent
steam, he breaks down. 9.
When the attention of a common man is drawn towards
some of his mistake, he acknowledges it. On the contrary, the narcissist
feels it important to lash the criticizer out. He transfers the
responsibility of his own mistakes to others. Even if he accepts some of his
mistake, he does so for the sake of admiration to be an altruist. 10. Narcissists never acknowledge that they are egocentric. If someone draws
their attention to it, they reject the facts and attack on the reliability of
the appraiser by picking holes in his personality. 11. Refined narcissists portray themselves in a presentable and tasteful
manner while unpolished ones often make an ass of themselves. 12. They make rules for others but are not interested in following such rules.
13. The egoist is an extremely manipulative boss or a mentally-bruised flattering
servant. Narcissism
is not limited to individuals. Groups, tribes, societies and nations are often
victimized by it in different stages of their life cycle. It happens when they
start feeling proud of themselves beyond the normal limits. Although,
individuals in that society may be normal in their personal capacity but they
may be narcissists at collective level. Are the Contemporary
Muslims Narcissists? The
author has performed psychoanalysis of the Muslims of present-day in the
light of above-mentioned attributes to determine whether they are victims of
narcissism. I find no
other choice except to admit that large numbers of our people are swindled by
enormous amount of self-pride and self-love. This is not limited to our
egocentric attitude to the people of other religions but we are so swellheaded
in even sectarian issues. We look at the people of other sects with disdain.
I disagree with the author on the point that all the Muslims are narcissists.
There is a significant number of Muslims who are normal. The
author has focused his work to the modern-day wars among Muslims and others.
In my opinion, the scope of this work should be extended from wars to all of
our interactions with the people of other religions. We should also take into
account the relations of the sects within Muslims. Let us analyze our
behavior in light of above mentioned personality traits. Self Importance It is
true that we feel ourselves important in this world. This self-important is usually
derived from a verse of the Quran: كُنْتُمْ
خَيْرَ
أُمَّةٍ
أُخْرِجَتْ
لِلنَّاسِ
تَأْمُرُونَ
بِالْمَعْرُوفِ
وَتَنْهَوْنَ
عَنْ
الْمُنكَرِ
وَتُؤْمِنُونَ
بِاللَّهِ. (آل
عمران 3:110) You are
the best of peoples, evolved for humankind, enjoining what is right,
forbidding what is wrong, and believing in Allah. We took
the verse as we are granted the title of "the Best People" in the
world. We have ignored the fact that the communication is directed towards
the companions of the Prophet صلی اللہ
علیہ وآلہ
وسلم who were the direct audience of the Quran. They were given
this title due to certain traits which are prescribed in the context of this
verse. يَا
أَيُّهَا
الَّذِينَ
آمَنُوا
اتَّقُوا اللَّهَ
حَقَّ
تُقَاتِهِ
وَلا
تَمُوتُنَّ إِلاَّ
وَأَنْتُمْ
مُسْلِمُونَ
(102) وَاعْتَصِمُوا
بِحَبْلِ
اللَّهِ
جَمِيعاً
وَلا
تَفَرَّقُوا
وَاذْكُرُوا
نِعْمَةَ اللَّهِ
عَلَيْكُمْ
إِذْ
كُنْتُمْ
أَعْدَاءً
فَأَلَّفَ
بَيْنَ
قُلُوبِكُمْ
فَأَصْبَحْتُمْ
بِنِعْمَتِهِ
إِخْوَاناً
وَكُنْتُمْ
عَلَى شَفَا
حُفْرَةٍ
مِنْ النَّارِ
فَأَنْقَذَكُمْ
مِنْهَا
كَذَلِكَ يُبَيِّنُ
اللَّهُ
لَكُمْ
آيَاتِهِ
لَعَلَّكُمْ
تَهْتَدُونَ
(103) وَلْتَكُنْ
مِنْكُمْ
أُمَّةٌ
يَدْعُونَ إِلَى
الْخَيْرِ
وَيَأْمُرُونَ
بِالْمَعْرُوفِ
وَيَنْهَوْنَ
عَنْ
الْمُنْكَرِ
وَأُوْلَئِكَ
هُمْ
الْمُفْلِحُونَ
(104) وَلا
تَكُونُوا
كَالَّذِينَ
تَفَرَّقُوا
وَاخْتَلَفُوا
مِنْ بَعْدِ
مَا
جَاءَهُمْ الْبَيِّنَاتُ
وَأُوْلَئِكَ
لَهُمْ عَذَابٌ
عَظِيمٌ (105) يَوْمَ
تَبْيَضُّ
وُجُوهٌ
وَتَسْوَدُّ
وُجُوهٌ
فَأَمَّا
الَّذِينَ
اسْوَدَّتْ
وُجُوهُهُمْ
أَكَفَرْتُمْ
بَعْدَ
إِيمَانِكُمْ
فَذُوقُوا
الْعَذَابَ
بِمَا
كُنْتُمْ
تَكْفُرُونَ
(106) وَأَمَّا
الَّذِينَ
ابْيَضَّتْ
وُجُوهُهُمْ
فَفِي
رَحْمَةِ
اللَّهِ
هُمْ فِيهَا
خَالِدُونَ (107) تِلْكَ
آيَاتُ
اللَّهِ
نَتْلُوهَا
عَلَيْكَ
بِالْحَقِّ
وَمَا
اللَّهُ
يُرِيدُ
ظُلْماً
لِلْعالَمِينَ
(108) وَلِلَّهِ
مَا فِي
السَّمَوَاتِ وَمَا
فِي
الأَرْضِ
وَإِلَى
اللَّهِ
تُرْجَعُ
الأُمُورُ (109) كُنْتُمْ
خَيْرَ
أُمَّةٍ
أُخْرِجَتْ
لِلنَّاسِ
تَأْمُرُونَ
بِالْمَعْرُوفِ
وَتَنْهَوْنَ
عَنْ
الْمُنكَرِ
وَتُؤْمِنُونَ
بِاللَّهِ
وَلَوْ
آمَنَ
أَهْلُ
الْكِتَابِ لَكَانَ
خَيْراً
لَهُمْ
مِنْهُمْ
الْمُؤْمِنُونَ
وَأَكْثَرُهُمْ
الْفَاسِقُونَ
(110) O
believers! Fear God as He should be feared. And die not except in a state of
submission (to God). Hold
fast, altogether, by the rope which Allah (stretches out for you) and be not
divided among yourself. Remember with gratitude Allah's favor upon you; as
you were enemies and He joined your hearts in love. So that by His Grace, you
became brethren; and you were on the brink of the pit of the Hellfire, and He
saved you from it. Thus Allah does make His Signs clear to you, that you may
be guided. Let there arise out of you a band of people inviting to all
that is good, enjoining what is right, and forbidding what is wrong. They are
the ones to attain felicity. Be not
like those who are divided amongst themselves and fall into disputations
after receiving the clear signs: For them is a dreadful penalty on the Day
when some faces will be (lit up with) white, and some faces will be (in the
gloom of) black. To those whose faces will be black, (will be said):
"Did you reject the faith after accepting it? Taste then the penalty for
rejecting Faith." But those whose faces will be (lit with) white, they will be
in (the light of) God's mercy: therein to dwell (for ever). These are
the Signs of Allah: We rehearse them to you in Truth: And God means no
injustice to any of His creatures. To Allah
belongs all that is in the heavens and on earth: To Him do all questions go
back (for decision). You are
the best of peoples, evolved for humankind, enjoining what is right,
forbidding what is wrong, and believing in Allah. If only the People of the
Book had faith, it were best for them: among them
are some who have faith, but most of them are perverted transgressors. (Translation
derived from that of Abdullah Yusuf Ali) The title
of "The Best People" was given to the companions
رضی اللہ
عنہم of the Holy Prophet صلی اللہ
علیہ وآلہ
وسلم because they accomplished the criteria mentioned in the
context of this verse. They were
God-fearing people who were humbly submitted to God (i.e. the literal meaning
of the word 'Muslim'). They were united through the rope of Allah. They used
to invite the humanity for admirable values like justice, honesty, compassion,
benevolence and fear of God. They used to forbid from evils like malevolence,
hatred, corruption and arrogance. Instead
of following into their footsteps, we exaggerate ourselves that we inherit their
achievements by default. We demand to be recognized as superior due to our
ancestors regardless of our own character. To see examples, just read through
the literature of our Muslim nationalists who make a song and dance about the
achievements of our ancestors. It is not
true that all of us are much of a muchness. There
are many people among us who go with the flow but some of us still adhere to
the practice of the companions of the Prophet صلی
اللہ علیہ
وآلہ وسلم. Attitude
with Others We assume
ourselves to be unique and special. We require admiration, adulation,
attention and affirmation from the people of other religions but are
unwilling to pay heed to their concerns. If other people do not fulfill any
of our demand, we look daggers at them. We expect
others to be fully compliant to our values and religion but we never respect
their values and religions. Instead of convincing them positively to adopt
the right path, we vent our spleen in form of terrorist attacks, protests,
demonstrations and denunciations. Every
cloud has a silver lining. Despite of such extremism, we do have many reasonable
people who spread the message of Islam in a decent and positive way. Exploitation
& Double Standards Although
some of our narcissists are "interpersonally exploitative" but
thanks to God, majority of us does not belong to this category. We don't use
others to achieve our own ends. We have large numbers of people who are full of
empathy. If we
evaluate our relations with other nations, the above-mentioned statement is
true but we have plenty of people who are abusive to their compatriots. Examples
of such exploitative people can be found in our brutal feudal lords to
deceitful traders and from corrupt politicians to debased religious leaders
who are like a wolf in sheep's clothing. We have
some extremists who have double standards. They are on cloud nine when innocent
people of other countries are victimized by terrorists but any attack on us
from their side makes their blood boil. They bark at the wrong tree and break
every rule in the book to achieve their malicious objectives. We
condemn modern superpowers for their exploitation and attacks but we never denounced
the Muslim invaders who raided other countries in search of new lands and booties.
It is
important to note that the wars of the companions of the Prophet صلی
اللہ علیہ
وآلہ وسلم were not aimed to get
land or booties. The objective of such wars was to pull the plug of religious
persecution. The governments of that time were not willing to allow members
of other sects and religions to live freely in their lands. وَقَاتِلُوهُمْ
حَتَّى لا
تَكُونَ
فِتْنَةٌ
وَيَكُونَ
الدِّينُ
لِلَّهِ
فَإِنْ انتَهَوْا
فَلا
عُدْوَانَ
إِلاَّ
عَلَى الظَّالِمِينَ.
(البقرة
2:193) And fight
them on until there is no more persecution, and there prevail justice and
faith in Allah. But if they cease, let there be no hostility except to those
who practice oppression. In later
centuries, the main objective of Jehad i.e. the end
of pogrom disappeared into thin air and it was replaced by the wars in search
of economic resources. Unfortunately, such knavish rulers became our ideals. If we
look at the bright side, the number of such people is limited among us.
Majority of us condemns attacks on civilians regardless of their location. Arrogance
& Self-Criticism We do have
enough humble people but we are not devoid of arrogant ones. Such people may
be humble in their individual capacity but they are extremely arrogant at
national level. Examples of our haughty behaviors are common in our literature
fulminating other religions and sects. Such literature is usually full of
rage and wrath against others. We have
some people who are not aware of self-criticism. They are up in arms if someone
draws their attention to their weaknesses. They are keen in shifting the
responsibility of their blunders to the shoulders of others in form of conspiracy
theories. They assume that all of our troubles are perpetrated by the hidden
schemes of others. They ignore the fact that success of any conspiracy is
dependent upon our internal vulnerabilities. If we overcome our weaknesses,
we can give a tough time to the connivers. Thanks to
God, number of such narcissists is limited. Despite of that, we do have a rich
history of self-criticism and reform. It is God's special blessing upon us
that He raises people in all ages who point the finger at the evil ideologies
and practices permeated through our societies. Although such venerable
persons get flak from their contemporaries but our later generations admire
their contributions. If we
peep through the history, From U'mar Ibn A'bdul Aziz to Ahmed Ibn Hanbal and from Ibn Taimiyah to Shah Waliullah, we find that people came down to them like a
ton of bricks but they stood their grounds. Despite
of such indomitable personalities, we find a lot of people who don't like self-analysis. Impact of
Narcissism Narcissism
is a psychological disorder. It ruins not only the personality of its victim
but it also creates a lot of problems for the people connected to him. A
large number of our people especially the religious ones suffer from
narcissism. It has a direct impact on their personalities and the people
associated with them. The
biggest adverse impact is on the dissemination of the message of Islam. According
to the verse mentioned above, we are held responsible to deliver the message
of God to humanity. If we fail to do so, we do not deserve the title of
"The best of peoples". Our egocentric approach is the main
hurdle to spread the true message of God. Contrary
to our belief, other nations do not perceive Islam as "The Message of
God". They assume Islam as "The Religion of Arrogant Narcissists"
who are determined to destroy the world. The only
reason for that is our attitude towards them. How could we expect that they
will pay heed to the peaceful message of Islam after we go to great lengths
to develop such a mindset? We get on
our high horse when the Western Media publishes reports on massive conversion
of people to Islam in Europe and Imagine
that a chesty propagator of some other religion comes to us and threatens us
to accept his views otherwise he will annihilate us. Contrast this example
with a humble disseminator of his views. To whom would we like to listen? The
former one or the later one? Unfortunately, our image is that of the former
one to others. The main reason behind our behavior is the heedlessness of a
narcissist. In
addition to this negative impact on the message of Islam, narcissism is also hollowing
our societies out. Contemporary terrorism is nothing more than a stark
manifestation of such egocentrism. This self-centeredness is caving in our
countries to the extent that a total collapse is heading towards us in leaps
and bounds. We are at the point of make or break ourselves. This
narcissism is leading us to the state of nihilism. Our ethical values are
being degenerated. People are willing to sell their souls for money. Such
decadence has little impact on our so-called enemies but it is leading us to
an unmitigated disaster. How to
get rid of Narcissism? Getting a
good riddance of narcissism is not an easy job. In order to break the back of
the beast, a long struggle is required involving blood, sweat and tears to pull
the plug of this self-centeredness. As
discussed earlier, narcissists never recognize that they are victimized by
this disorder. Al-Hamdulillah, all of us are not swindled by this ailment. It is the responsibility
of those who are free of it to help others in this regard. First of all, we
have to eat humble pie to admit that we are narcissists as a whole. In next
step, we have to stab at the root of narcissism. I've personally experienced
that the foundations of narcissism are deep-rooted in our educational system.
By educational system, I do not mean the system of conventional educational
institutes only. Any educational system comprises of both formal and informal
channels. Narcissism
is not only part of the curriculum taught at our religious and secular schools
but it is also widespread in the realm of informal education. In cradle, a
mother tells her little child that we are the descendents
of the great heroes of the world and it is the responsibility of other
nations to be subdued to us. Thousands of sermons, debates, talk shows and
lectures reaffirm such narcissism. Some eager
beavers suggest a complete restructuring of our educational system but it is
not practical. Some other enthusiasts propose a complete ban on the schools
which infiltrate narcissism in the next generations. Such so-called solutions
produce nothing more than a counter reaction. There is
no short-term solution to this problem. We need the religious schools to
teach the religion to our children. Complete abolition of something deeply-rooted
in our societies is not possible. Moreover, the people in our religious and secular
educational establishment are not willing to change themselves. If we
want to move up in the world, we have to find some feasible solution. Illumination
is the simple solution of darkness. A single lamp is enough to obliterate
darkness at least at a small place. Let us start from the point from where we
are. If we are sincere to ourselves, we should light up a lamp of positive
thinking. Let's
think big. We can start exploring all avenues to establish an informal or
formal educational system, which is based on constructive thinking and free
of narcissism. If you
can establish an educational institute whose core value is love of humanity
instead of hatred, go into overdrive for that. If you can start a religious
study circle free of narcissism, sink your teeth in it. If you are able to
convey you message by writing, start writing. If you cannot do anything, you
can still start developing a positive attitude in your family members that is
free of Civilizational Narcissism. If you
lack funds to launch an expensive setup, do it over the internet or email.
Developments of information technology have made it as easy as pie for us to spread
the message of Islam which is the message of love and respect to humanity. We have
to hitch our wagon to a star in order to disseminate the message of
humbleness, love, concern and care of others. We can see a light at the end
of the tunnel. We should not come apart at the seams for the length of this
journey. A journey of 1000 miles starts with a single step. (Author: Muhammad Mubashir
Nazir)
Think about it! ·
Evaluate
your own personality for narcissism in the light of above-mentioned
attributes. ·
What
are the reasons for our narcissism? Identify three reasons and three
solutions to our narcissism. Send
your comments and questions by email to publish them on this webpage. |
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Unit 1: Relation with God & His Prophets In the name of God, the most Beneficent, the Eternally Merciful |
The Treasure’s Map |
The Month of Ramadan: What to achieve? |
The
Prophet’s Love |
The
Basic Premise of the Religion |
Who
is like You? |
Pure
Monotheism I |
Pure
Monotheism II |
Who deserves the Paradise?
Unit 2:
Elimination of our Negative Personality How to get rid of Poverty? |
The Report of Transparency International
and a Hadith |
Justification
or Admitting One’s Fault |
Artificial
Colors of Glamour |
Religious People & Ostentation |
Character
of Ancient Religious Leaders at Jerusalem |
Attachment
to a Group is irrelevant for Success |
Successful
Life | The Revolution Occurred! |
Form
& Spirit |
Jealousy
& Modern Testing Techniques |
How to overcome
Procrastination? | The
Difference between an Extremist & a Moderate Person Unit 3:
Development of our Positive Personality The Quranic Strategy
for Personality Development
| How to get rid of Poverty? |
Character
builds the Nation |
The
Sermon of Mount |
Success: What is it? |
Success Secrets |
A Positive Attitude affirms the Life |
Road Block |
Thinking after Writing! |
Trust
is Golden |
Getting
off to a good start |
The Lesson of Arnold Schwarzenegger |
Unlocking
the Gates to Success |
Admitting
One’s Fault |
Top 10 Qualities of Excellence
Unit 4:
Relationship with Human Beings Backbiting |
Suspicion | Defamation |
Examining Others with Suspicion |
Are
you killing your family? Unit 5: Our
Responsibility, Vision & Mission The Love of Prophet Muhammad with Knowledge
| Traditional Mentality
| Strange Similarities between Christian
& Muslim Histories | The Relationship of Revelation & Intellect (Part I)
| The Relationship of Revelation & Intellect (Part II)
| The Problem of Aurengzeb Alamgir |
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